(updated, 6th April)

First up, I’m popping my donation and support links up here first because oh boy, I would be very grateful for any and all help I can raise right now. Sorry to get straight to that, please have a read below to catch up with the how and why of all this.

https://ko-fi.com/robfearon

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/retroremakes

I’ve bumped up the old gofundme goal by a couple of grand. If I can hit that, I can get a substantial amount of the work that needs doing, done. Anything over that is, basically, more work I can get done and more stuff fixed up. Argh.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/rob-and-family-get-their-lives-and-house-back

I have an Amazon wishlist I’ll update in a bit once I’ve had time to sit down and work out what practical things I’ll need I’ve update with a pile of cleaning stuff if anyone wants to help that way. That’s here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/279RHOX8Z0WGA?ref_=list_d_wl_lfu_nav_1

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I think this has been the most ridiculous month of my existence so far in a run on series of ridiculous months lasting a few years now. Right now, I’m still kind of reeling and, frankly, somewhere between stunned and heartbroken and definitely very upset by things.

At the start of last month, our odd recurring drains problem resulted in a blockage. Since then, it’s led us to what looks like a number of leaks, a blockage and a suspected collapsed drain outside.

As the bathroom is a wet room and has no gulleys or guards to speak of, beyond the floor being shaped to get things down the drain, when the shit came back up through the shower drain, it spilled out of the bathroom. You can imagine the rest. This has not helped matters. Instead of just a pissy and shitty bathroom, we got a pissy and shitty landing and hall too.

Both me and the youngest have been sleeping downstairs because, well, it’s safer.

Both me and the eldest are still up all hours cleaning the leak up and our toilet is useless. Unfortunately, we also continue to need to use the toilet. Mmhmm. Slop out time!

Still!

Nothing not fixable if you’re in a position to fix things, insured and/or healthy enough to be doing a ruck more stuff when you’re already wrecked. Which, I can’t say I have all that much leeway at this point for those sort of things. I’m exhausted. I’ve wrote about all that on here in recent weeks, it’s a few posts down. I definitely can’t afford even a few quid a month for insurance when I’m struggling for food all the time.

So, for the past month, we’ve been throwing money at doing what we could do, and I’ve had to ask for more help than I’m comfortable with. It’s one thing to have to rely on help because you’re not getting enough money in to last a month, it’s one thing to ask for help if you’ve fucked it. I’m a week after payday and I’ve spent all bar about fifty quid of mine and the eldest’s combined for the entire month, mainly trying to get through this week. All the cleaning products, needing to buy takeaways because nobody can cook, it’s bled us dry. In a little over a week.

Admittedly, we don’t have much to spend so that’s really the long and short of it there, it doesn’t take very long to drain very little but fucking hell, it hurts to be here. Constantly. And this is something else.

So, I spent a while trying to shore up some help and … there is none. At the suggestion of my care providers (who have been wonderful throughout all this but who also can’t actually provide me my care whilst all this is going on), they suggested raising an emergency safeguarding issue.

They did that on Monday morning. It’s now Friday and just getting a response this quick has meant me chasing it up personally. Anyway. I got a response a few hours ago.

The only thing the council had to suggest was I either get the house condemned and put myself on the property list for rehousing, or sell the house, and put myself on the list for rehousing.

Personally, that seems a bit of an extreme response to some leaks, a blockage and a shit wet room. I’ve no idea how this even fits into what’s supposed to be a council’s social care remit either but I admit, I’m just a dude who writes and writes about videogames, not an expert on what the guidelines say here. I guess I wanted an answer from them though and I definitely got that.

So, yes. A month and a bit ago, we’d filled another skip full of stuff and had it carted off, we’re trying to figure out how to get the next lot out to get the last of the appliances still sitting there fitted, we’d gotten the paint out we bought, bought a bunch of bits and bobs to get wiping, cleaning and ready to paint. And now I’m mopping up piss every day, skint *again* and scared again how I’m going to buy food (and, bonus, more antibac, bleach and cloths and stuff) after the next day or so, can’t take a shower and, ooh, it’s the school holidays.

Obviously, I’ve spent the past few hours once again trying to see if anyone in any position of vague authority can help in anyway, pointed out that no I don’t want to condemn my house, I just want to be able to take a shit safely. Condemning the house would be a bit excessive, by anyone’s standards. As would selling it solely because a few things went tits up. I’m not exactly this house’s biggest fan either but yes, BIT MUCH.

I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do. This is fucked up. More fool me for thinking being able to afford some essential consumer goods to live like a normal person would fix anything, I suppose? I don’t know. Just. I do not know. I have, however, banned the use of the phrase “well, at least it can’t get any worse” from the house because clearly this is being seen as a challenge each and every time.

I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to do in the mid to long term in the slightest. I’m going to try and keep pushing but this country is fucked and there’s nothing left but fighting over the scraps so I’m not hopeful of an easy way out. I’ve got an appointment next month with welfare rights to see if there’s anything else we can wangle. We’ll see about that.

I obviously do not want to condemn my house. That would be a bit much.

In the short term, I’m beyond fucked now. I’ve gone from lasting a few weeks – on my money and only a bit of the eldest’s – to not even lasting a week and a bit out with both of them, and that’s with help. This is impossible.

I’m asking for help, again, because I don’t know what else to do. I need it. The kids need it. I would like to eat. And clean things.

But also, if anyone has the slightest Scooby about what I can even do to get out of this one at the same time, I am all ears. Anyone suggesting I do condemn or sell the house will get a kick in the shins, even if it’s meant for comedy purposes. I am too tired and running on empty, soz.