I weirdly enjoy people finding out that no, I’m not making them up, Alcatraz Harry was a legit, two game, videogame mascot character.

Whilst everyone else was off with Ramsey The Racist Raccoon or something, here was Barry Jones making a game about a dude in Alcatraz, called Harry. Amazing. Probably dodge too but here he is.

Alcatraz Harry at Spectrum Computing

Pity poor I, Ball, not only a largely forgotten character in the annals of videogame but who, for their second outing, became a being of purest chrome. Still, they looked pretty chonky and far from an executive toy so it could have been worse.

I have a fondness for Steinar Lund’s take on the character more, though both are pretty fine really. So that’s the one I went with when it came to doodling them, army fatigues, laser guns and helmet and all.

I, Ball at Spectrum Computing

I’ve always, always, found myself drawn to the small, the janky and in some cases, downright tatty when it comes to my tastes. Whether it’s watching (and enjoying!) cheap films, games or whatever, I’m much more at home with rough edges and jank than I am with super polished, super slick stuff.

Obviously, the dawning of home computer games and the wild spread of stuff being made, listed, or sold meant I would rarely be short of stuff to tinker with and the notorious Don’t Buy This – five pointedly crap games for a couple of quid and a bit – didn’t exactly help either.

And sure, most of the games on the compilation were games I was in no rush to play. Fido, however, was an exception. A simple and juuuuust about responsive enough to play whack a mole videogame with a cute doggo, Fido got a lot of play. More than a whole bunch of higher rated, better remembered videogames.

I could rarely be arsed with Fido 2, solely by virtue of having to put effort into forwarding the tape on far enough to get to it rather than having any particular beef with it but the first one? I still like it and still reckon I got more than my two pounds and fifty UK pence worth of videogame from it.

I can’t recommend anybody else play it! Well, unless you’re like me and thrive on tat, then definitely, definitely, definitely grab Don’t Buy This and give it a play.

Don’t Buy This at Spectrum Computing

Despite being perfectly fine mascots (and certainly cuter than that egg) Olli And Lissa got short shrift in the cover art stakes. A screaming dude for the first, their names reduced to a barely noticeable size for the second as a spooky witch takes centre stage in their place and in the third, inexplicably becoming dogs.

A bit silly because whilst slight, they were a perfectly fine bunch of games and really quite pretty to boot.

I guess this is just my way of making it up to them somewhat. Better late than never and all that.

Olli And Lissa at Spectrum Computing.

I spent an extraordinary amount of time doing the “that doesn’t look right” face whilst sketching this fella out and I had to keep reminding myself that’s not my fault, Monty genuinely doesn’t look right in Impossamole.

I’ve never really made peace with it as a game either. For all their unfairness, Monty On The Run and Auf Wiedersehen Monty are still all timers in my book and Impossamole just isn’t. I’ve never found anything to enjoy in it and on occasional revisits, little has changed my opinion over the years.

Still. Plenty of characters have met a worse videogame fate.

Impossamole at Spectrum Computing